Hold the door for everyone

‘When I get married and my wife frustrates me, I will beat her,’ these were the words of a 10 year old boy to a 25 year old guy who was  talking to some young boys about the evils of domestic violence. I was surprised to know that these words were said by a boy who had witnessed his father beating his mother several times. I expect that this boy should detest domestic violence more than any other person because he practically saw how his mother was abused by his father.

Domestic violence has been mirrored to him and somehow he thinks that it is a good thing…honestly, this rationale baffles me. The 25 year old guy tried to convince the young boy but I truly hope he aligns with the guy’s words. 

Years ago, I was swift to identify as a feminist but in recent times I have become reluctant to associate with the word ‘feminism’ because I feel that word has been perverted. Even though my folks still think of me as a feminist since I firmly believe that females should not be treated lesser than males.  

Recently, I listened to some of Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s interviews and I think to an extent her words have been mis-interpreted. Even the Queen of the feminism movement, Chimamanda expressed her thoughts that she thinks feminism has been perverted or taken the wrong way. I remember she said  ‘Holding the door for someone should not be a gender thing, we should hold the door for everyone’.

So if you are a lady, yes you can hold the door for a male and vice versa. According to her, ‘holding the door for a woman because she is a woman, I think I have a problem with it’. The bane of this rationale is to emphasise mutual respect and honour for both males and females and of course this does not accommodate domestic violence from any angle.

This brings me to the point that our society rather than train ‘boys to be boys and girls to be girls’ should simply train both genders as socially responsible, good hearted and logical individuals where one is not less or more than the other. Let’s normalise the practicality of mutual honour and respect.

Hope you had a good time reading this blog post. Have a nice weekend.

Je’ t’aime mon ami